I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
There's always time for handjobs
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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