it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
that is very illegal...i love you.
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