the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
