We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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