did you get engaged???
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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