do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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