So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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