SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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