Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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