i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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