I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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