yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Your penis caused this!
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