If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
