I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I believe in your delicious
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
