Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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