Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
