whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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