he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize