worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
