The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
