i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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