apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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