it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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