i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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