Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
