if i died would you start the facebook group?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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