I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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