Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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