with your own penis?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
