fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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