I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Houston, we have a squirter
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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