I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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