my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
