i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
