i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
