I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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