What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
