PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
