i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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