you guys were way drunker than both of me
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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