just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
