i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
