hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm gonna fight the coyote
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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