A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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