"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
