She announced her abortion via fbk
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
