**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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