yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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