This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
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Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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