I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize