You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
