I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
