saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
