apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
