he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
