she was so not down for the gang bang
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You pole danced in your parka.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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