My pussy is not your playground.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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