Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
