wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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